Of course, most mums want to feel a sense of warmth and protection towards their newborn baby. But if you’re just not having those feelings, you’re not alone – around a third of mums in the UK might not experience these feelings immediately. Not having that kind of instant bond sometimes leads to feelings of disappointment, anxiety, inadequacy, and guilt.
Here we explain how there are things you can do to get to know your baby and help things to improve…
Understanding the Bonding Process
First and foremost, it's important to understand that bonding is a process, not a single event. It can start during pregnancy, right after birth, or even a few months later. Every mother and baby pair is unique, and there's no "right" timeline for feeling connected. Sometimes, the stresses of childbirth, expectations of motherhood, or even personal histories can affect this initial bonding.
Practical Tips to Enhance Bonding
Skin-to-Skin Contact: Holding your baby against your skin can stimulate bonding hormones for both of you. This simple act can also soothe your baby and make them feel more secure.
Spend Quality Time Together: Try to spend time just being with your baby, without distractions. Gazing into your baby’s eyes, talking to them, and gentle touching can all help strengthen your connection.
Feed with Love and Attention: Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, use feeding time as an opportunity to bond. Hold your baby close, make eye contact, and engage in gentle conversation.
Read to Your Baby: Even though they won’t understand the words at first, reading to your baby can be a soothing and enjoyable bonding experience. The sound of your voice is incredibly comforting to your child.
Learn Baby’s Cues: Pay attention to your baby’s different cries and signals. Learning what your baby needs and responding to them can help you feel more connected and competent as a parent.
Practice Responsive Parenting: Responding to your baby’s needs in a timely and loving manner can enhance bonding. It helps your baby develop trust and security, which are the foundations of a strong relationship.
Mindfulness and Relaxation: Sometimes, feelings of anxiety and stress can interfere with bonding. Mindfulness exercises and relaxation techniques can help you feel more present and connected with your baby.
Seeking Support
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help if you’re struggling with bonding. Talk to your health visitor, GP, or a perinatal mental health professional. They can offer guidance, support, and sometimes even refer you to therapeutic services if necessary.
Joining parent and baby groups can also be a great way to share experiences and tips with others who understand what you’re going through. Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to take your time.
The Role of Aurora
At Aurora, we’re committed to supporting new mums through the myriad of emotions and challenges that come with motherhood. Our app offers resources, mindfulness exercises, and guided meditations specifically designed to support maternal mental health and foster the mother-baby bond. With Aurora, you can find a supportive community and resources tailored to your journey into motherhood.
Final Thoughts
Bonding with your baby is a unique journey for every mum. It can take time, and there’s no need to rush or force it. What’s most important is providing your baby with love, care, and attention — the bond will grow from there. And remember, seeking support is a sign of strength and an important step towards fostering a healthy relationship with your baby.